Your voice sounds strangely similar

As TW and I sat in our seats at an outdoor restaurant soaking up the sun we glanced at the drink menu debating whether or not to order pre-happy hour drinks. Then, when the server finally came to our table she asked, in a lilting voice reminiscent of a sultry, artificial, phone sex operator, "Do you need a few more minutes?" Aghast, by her lavish voice, I laughed nervously, "Uh no."

After we ordered our meals I asked TW if she thought the servers voice sounded strikingly similar to that of a phone sex operator. TW told me that I was hallucinating. So I asked if she would close her eyes when the server returned so she could hear just her voice without the distraction of her uniform. TW smirked, "I will not close my eyes in the middle of the restaurant. She might think I'm on drugs or that I'm narcoleptic. I am neither." I begged. I pleaded. I cajoled. She agreed just so I would stop whining.

So the next time the server came to the table to drop off our meals she asked if there was anything else we needed. As she asked the question TW closed her eyes – tightly. The server looked at TW strangely and asked me if everything was OK with her. I explained that TW preferred to close her eyes when she ate so that she might really savor the flavors of the meal. The server seemed content by this answer even though TW and I were not yet eating.

As soon as the server left I asked TW if she agreed with my assessment of the server’s voice. She did not. I pushed, "What? How can you not hear the phone sex operator voice? It is so disturbing. Each time she says, 'How is everything?' or 'Are you finished?' or 'Do you need anything else?' I feel dirty." TW ignored me.

Then, at the end of the meal the server told us "to leave the money on the table" in that same lilting voice. After we finished paying, TW turned to me and said, "Oy. Now I see what you mean. I feel dirty too." I questioned, “Want to come back here tomorrow?” She nodded vigorously, “Heck ya.”