It's as good a reason as any for a long weekend...

Today is Canada Day. I am not sure what Canada Day celebrates since Canadian independence was somewhat of a non-event. But regardless, banks are closed today, there is no mail delivery today, and everyone is walking around the city today with Maple Leaf flag tattoos adorning their faces, Maple Leaf flag patches adorning their backpacks, and Maple Leaf flag decals adorning their t-shirts. In an effort to get into the spirit of the day I sought out a Maple Leaf flag of my own.

So, when I noticed a Canada Day information booth where volunteers were giving out paper Maple Leaf flags I stopped.

As soon as I arrived at the booth, I asked the volunteer if she would give me one of the ubiquitous Maple Leaf flags. She said no. When I asked why she explained, “You are an American. These flags are for Canadians.” I retorted, “How do you know I am American?” Bored by my question she responded with a grammar lesson. She explained, “You said, Could I have a flag please? You put the emphasis on the “I” instead of the “please”. So, you must be an American. A Canadian would ask, Could i have a flag PLEASE?” Flummoxed by her Canadian logic I repeated my question putting the emphasis on the “please” instead of the “I”. She declined my request again - this time she explained that I clearly harrumphed after saying “please” and that this again was an Americanism and not a Canadianism.

Undeterred by her rebuke I continued, “What if you give me the flag and I give it to a Canadian?” She sighed, “Only if you recite the Canadian national anthem to me first.” I breathed in deeply, puffed up my chest, and bellowed, “Oh Canada. Something, something, something. Canada, something else, something goes here, and then another something.” She, not fooled by my tuneful insertion of words, remarked, through hearty giggles, “That’s not the anthem.” Then handed me the flag in an effort to get me out of her hair.

I graciously took the flag, put it in the zipper of my backpack my bag in such a manner than all those around me could see the Maple Leaf, and walked off triumphantly. When I finally arrived at my destination I reached for the flag and held it up to TW to admire. She stared at me thoughtfully, “Is this why you are thirty minutes late?” Then she pulled ten Maple Leaf flags from her backpack and said, “I bought these in bulk at Costco. Next time you are feeling patriotic just ask.” Point taken.